I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
