The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
