Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
