As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
