Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
