Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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