It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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