i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
