I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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