Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
