you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
