She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
