i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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