I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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