Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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