That's intense
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
