Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
