That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize