I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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