I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
