the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
