so that wasnt chicken after all
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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