Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
