all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
