Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize