Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
