After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
