There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
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I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
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To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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