Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
