i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
