Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
