omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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