we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
