Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
