Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
