this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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