Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dont lie about slip and slides
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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