is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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