If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize