Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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