She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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