if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
