ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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