and you said cock pushups were impossible
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
