im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
