Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
