Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
