In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
