I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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