i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Shame - the story of my life.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
