We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
