all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
