you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
