Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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