either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
