hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
