so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
