Absence makes the cock grow harder.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
