I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
