She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
