by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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