you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
