you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Found the puke drawer
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
